Surrogacy is a very serious thing for everyone invested in the process. The gestational carrier or a surrogate is giving themselves in the most selfless way a woman can give of themselves. The intended parents are getting the opportunity to fill a huge gap in their lives, a chance to love and raise a child.
With so much love, care, and emotion tied up in the surrogacy process, everything little facet of the process must be handled in exactly the right way. That is why the laws and rules surrounding becoming a surrogate are so strict and strictly enforced.
If you are reading this information, it is fair to assume two things. First, you are interested in being a surrogate. For that, you are to be commended because it indicates the depth of your caring as a human. The second assumption has to do with the idea that you have never given birth before. You are seeking information about becoming a surrogate, and that would make you a surrogate never pregnant before.
CAN YOU GO THROUGH SURROGACY WITHOUT PREGNANCY BEFORE?
Before we offer you a detailed explanation, we want to cut right to the chase. Unfortunately, you becoming a surrogate without prior pregnancy experience will not be possible. We can tell you that your heart and soul are very much in the right place. But, one of the strictest surrogate requirements is that the prospective gestational carrier cannot be a surrogate without pregnancy in the past.
Since you are absolutely entitled to an explanation as to why being a surrogate without kid experience is not feasible, we are going to give you some important details. Hopefully, the information will make clear that the prior pregnancy requirement of the surrogacy process is the most important disqualification surrogacy or fertility clinics have to abide by.
WHY YOU CANNOT BE A SURROGATE WITHOUT BIRTH EXPERIENCE
What is easy for everyone to understand about having a child is the biology behind the entire process. There is a human science related to pregnancy and the birth of a child, something everyone learns about in school. What people cannot understand when they haven’t yet been parents is the mental and emotional components of going through pregnancy and becoming a parent.
To be clear, becoming a parent is a life-changing experience. It changes the way people feel about their lives and the way they go about living their lives. For the mother, in particular, there is a deeper layer of emotion added to the mix. When they go through pregnancy and give birth for the first time, they learn something about their bodies that they never knew before. That is always enlightening and can sometimes be emotionally overwhelming.
Here is the key part of why surrogates who haven’t had children create such a huge risk. The surrogate mum who has never had a child has no way of knowing how they will react. If you haven’t been pregnant and gone through the birthing process, it is all a great unknown to you and the people around you.
Given the importance of the surrogacy process, unknowns represent risks. Bringing risk into the process is exactly the wrong thing to do with so much on the line.
In the next sections, we are going to look at this issue a little deeper from the perspective of both the gestational carrier and the intended parents.
PERSPECTIVE OF THE GESTATIONAL CARRIER
As you contemplate becoming a surrogate, you surely have your reasons for doing so. It might be you want to give of yourself for the benefit of others or just want to experience pregnancy and the birthing process without becoming a parent. Perhaps, it’s the financial rewards that appeal to you. Truthfully, your reason or reasons are personal and you really don’t owe anyone beyond the intended parents an explanation. You might want to share your reasons with them for their peace of mind.
For the gestational mother, becoming a surrogate without pregnancy in the past creates some of the aforementioned unknowns. The first unknown is how their body is going to react physically to being pregnant and giving birth. Every woman’s body reacts to this entire “having a baby“ process a little differently. While most women breeze through the process with little to no complications, there are women who encounter significant problems.
Think about it. If you have never been pregnant before, do you really know whether or not you can carry a baby to term? Will you encounter problems like anemia and chronic urinary tract infections while pregnant? What will pregnancy do to your blood pressure? How is your body going to react to excessive weight gain or diabetes during pregnancy? We could go on, but the picture should be becoming clearer. You cannot answer these questions because there is nothing upon which to base your answers.
We would be remiss to not also discuss the unknowns related to mental health. Are you mentally and emotionally able to carry an unborn child? Having never had a child, are you emotionally prepared to hand your first child over to someone else? Do you know how hormonal changes are going to affect the way you feel and think? Again, you cannot answer these questions because there is no history.
There is absolutely nothing wrong with the fact you have never been pregnant before. It just means surrogacy at this point in your life is too risky.
PERSPECTIVE OF THE INTENDED PARENTS
You can never forget that the intended parents would also have a huge vested interest in the whole process. They too will be affected by how well things go up until that beautiful baby is placed in their arms. For them, any uncertainties are going to be unacceptable.
Remember, the intended parents would be making a huge emotional and financial investment in the process. Until that child is delivered, they will be nervous. Keep in mind, most intended parents have already been put through emotional and mental distress because they can’t have children on their own. For them, a surrogate mother might be the only way they can have the child they want so much.
For the most part, they will be sitting on pins and needles because they have no control once they sign on the dotted line. All they can do is wait. While they wait, they have the right to expect they are going to get the child for which they have been waiting for so long.
With peace of mind on the line for intended parents, fertility clinics have a responsibility to make sure there is an excellent chance the surrogate mother will be able to deliver a healthy baby. That is why clinics take surrogate requirements so seriously. It’s a matter of matching the right surrogate with the right intended parents with as much certainty as possible.
In closing, it is reasonable that you might feel disappointed you can’t serve as a surrogate without kid experience. Still, you should be very proud of the fact you are such a caring person. We know that by the simple fact you are looking into the possibility of being a gestational mother. Should you ever have a child of your own and still want to serve as a surrogate, you would likely be a good candidate because you seem to have the right intentions.
